Lily: the sun shining bright in a rainy day

Anyone watching Jenn Stuczynski pole vault at the Olympics had to be amazed. She had only been competing for 4 years yet brought home a silver medal. So it came as a shock to hear her coach, Rick Suhr, berating her for failing to win the gold against Yelena Isinbayeva (arguably, the best pole vaulter in Olympic history, who went on to finish the competition by twice beating the world record).

"I guess you just didn't want it bad enough," was the tone. After listing her shortcomings, he simply turned and went back to his cell phone. What on earth was he doing? Was this meant to inspire her? Challenge her? Humiliate her?

Most likely it wasn't about her, or her performance, at all. Rick Suhr's behavior could have been 100% about him.

What happened? A steroid rage? A sore loser? There's another explanation--seemingly more benign but in fact just as deadly. Leaders who live with power stress -- chronic, intense pressure resulting from responsibilities, crises and demands -- can easily slip into what is known as "the sacrifice syndrome." Simply put, we burn up, burn out, and lose our effectiveness.

We know from neuroscience and psychology that when people experience chronic stress, cognitive functioning is diminished and we get sick more often. We lose sight of the big picture and make bad decisions. Our self awareness dwindles, empathy is in short supply, and self management is compromised. We lose the emotional and social competencies that enable us to be successful leaders.

Paradoxically, the best leaders are most susceptible to the sacrifice syndrome. Why? Because we take our responsibilities seriously. We care. We strive. We try harder. What about you? Are you, like Rick Suhr, a bit on the edge, ready to slip into behaviors you know won't work?

There is plenty that you can do about it. But first, you have to get over the fantasy that a nice summer vacation is going to fix everything. It isn't. You are walking back into the 24/7 environment. The same pressures are there. They're not going away.

Next: admit it. You aren't a superhero and you never will be. Sure, you're strong, resilient and clever. Good. Capitalize on these gifts. But you need to do more. You need to interrupt the sacrifice syndrome with real renewal. You have to build regular practices into daily life that spark psychological and physical renewal. It's as important as eating, sleeping and breathing. Here's how to start:

1. Listen to life's quiet wake-up calls. Perhaps your wake-up calls aren't as dramatic as some I've seen--the broken marriages, plateaued careers. But maybe you don't laugh as much as you used to, you've quit going to the gym or don't do things you enjoy most. Listen! Make course adjustments now.

2. Practice mindfulness. Pay attention to your mind, body, heart and spirit. This doesn't happen by accident. Most of us need to develop and then practice the art of reflection. Try finding a few minutes of quiet time alone each day, even if it's just five minutes before getting up in the morning, walking from the train to work, or a quiet moment in the park.

3. Find hope. Hope is a powerful force. On a neurological level, it actually helps us to counter the negative effects of life's pressures and burdens. Hope--an image of a positive and feasible future--inspires us to dig deep down, to find the strength to move in the direction of our dreams. So imagine your life in ten years: what will you be doing? Who's sharing your life? What will capture your passion?

4. Practice Compassion. Focus on the needs and desires of the people around you. Act on what you see--do something to support others achieving their goals. Make someone's day better. Like hope, compassion engages positive emotions, which in turn engage renewal.

Change starts with you. And when linked to a meaningful outcome-- like a resonant life --change can be exciting and fun. Start small. Start today. But start. It will be worth it.

Annie McKee is co-founder of Teleos Leadership Institute and was named by Business Week as "The High Priestess of Executive Coaching" in their 2005 Top 100 Leaders issue. Her latest book is Becoming a Resonant Leader, which she co-wrote with Richard Boyatzis and Fran Johnston.

Read more about emotional and social competencies:

• Social Intelligence and the Biology of Leadership
• Reawakening Your Passion for Work
• Primal Leadership: The Hidden Driver of Great Performance
  

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